When Should You Distance Yourself in Your Relationships?

When should you distance yourself in your relationships? When should you say goodbye in your relationships?

Does it make sense to continue or do you have to let go?

All the good questions!

You can miss the tension in your relationships like a toothache.

Why would you put energy into a relationship if it no longer gives you positive energy back? Then you just sell yourself short.

But before you say goodbye, you need to see if you can change anything. Maybe you distance yourself too quickly in your relationship. Maybe you can improve your relationship with a few simple tips.

Before you start finding solutions, you need to understand the purpose of EVERY relationship:

What is the purpose of a relationship?

The goal of any relationship is for both parties to benefit. Only then will a relationship be in balance. If one person gets better from the relationship and the other gets better, then it’s not a healthy relationship.

This is the most important insight for all your relationships!

Getting better means that it gives you energy, makes you happy, and gives you joy. In short, that you feel better with the relationship than without. This applies to any relationship, be it with your partner, family, friends or colleagues.

Otherwise, a relationship is meaningless and you better choose another relationship.

Just read the reactions below this article, then you will read many people who are actually no longer happy with their relationship. Too bad – and not necessary!

No longer being happy is the best sign that it is time to distance yourself from your relationship.

But there are also three concrete warnings. If you come across these, your alarm bells should ring.

These warnings tell you it is time to step back in a relationship, be it a private relationship or a business relationship:

Warning 1: Relationship problems cannot be solved.

The first indication is that you cannot solve relationship problems. No matter how hard you try, somehow you can’t and that costs you a lot of negative energy.

If you find yourself regularly angry, disappointed, tired, or negative in your relationship, it’s time to step back. You have better things to do than feel that way, don’t you? No one is worth feeling bad for any length of time. You realize that, don’t you?

Solve your relationship problems

The best way to improve your relationships is to take this Online Relationship Course. Solve your relationship problems, choose the right people in your life – and set your boundaries. This way you stay yourself in all your relationships!

Warning 2: Not willing or able to say goodbye.

The second clue is if you actually want to say goodbye, but appreciate the relationship too much to do so.

You will miss the positives of the relationship when you say goodbye.

Or maybe you can’t say goodbye because someone is family or a colleague, for example. If you cannot or do not want to say goodbye, keeping your distance is the best choice. Maybe not the ideal choice, but it is the most practical.

Warning 3: The decision rests with the other.

The third reason you have to distance yourself is if the other wants to. You cannot force anyone to have a relationship with you. If they are smart, they see how nice, valuable, fun, or fantastic you are, and they choose your company. But if they are not that smart, then you can only accept that.

What about your relationship, should you distance yourself in your relationship?

In which category does your relationship with your partner, family, colleagues or friends fall? Does this relationship cost you a lot of energy, but don’t you want to say goodbye? Do you want to say goodbye, but you can’t?

Are you unable to solve the problems and have no other choice? Or does the other just want to see you less?

Don’t give up too quickly, don’t say goodbye too soon in your relationships.

Either way, realize that a relationship that chronically and systematically consumes your energy has little chance of success. Some relationships just aren’t meant for you. This applies to everything in life: the things that belong to you often go without saying.

Of course, you need some perseverance to make a success of a relationship.

If you give up at the first setback, you will have few lasting relationships. Immediately distancing yourself from your relationships if they don’t go well – never giving yourself the chance to learn from them.

Moreover, relationship problems come back just as hard in the next relationship. Until you solve them. So a little persistence is good.

The reason for many relationship problems.

The reason for many relationship problems is a lack of good communication. We don’t really know what the other wants, expects or means. Others don’t know about us until we explain.

Only better communication can solve this.

In the Better Relationships with Everyone e-course  you will discover what causes relationship problems and how you can solve them. This way you avoid having to constantly distance yourself because you are in a relationship that is not improving.

You also learn to communicate more effectively: listen better, ask better questions, stand up for yourself better and indicate better what is important to you. This solves most – if not all – relationship problems.

I want to go left!

But sometimes it can’t be resolved simply because you have very different ideas about the relationship than the other. That difference can then no longer be bridged. If you want to go to the left and the other to the right, you can decide to end in the middle.

But you could also say, “I don’t want to go to the center at all, I want to go to the left, whatever it costs!”

Stop fighting in your relationships.

If you are constantly fighting about the direction of your relationship, stop it. That makes little sense. You don’t have to explain why you want to go to the left, any more than the other should explain why the right is better.

These are apparently the directions that suit you best.

If you find that a relationship is consuming you too much energy, that relationship is apparently not the best relationship for you.

This actually applies to everything in life: if something chronically costs you too much energy, then apparently it is not for you. Listen to your gut, because that tells you if this is the case.

Persevere or let go, distance or say goodbye?

You prove nothing by continuing when the cake is finished. Taking distance in your relationships is sometimes smarter than continuing to fight with or against the other.

That is not proof of persistence, but a lack of intelligence.

Fighting for your relationship only makes sense if both parties want it and believe it is possible. Otherwise, the fight is pointless.

There are so many fun and interesting people. Taking distance in your relationships is not a problem in itself if it makes you feel better.

Taking distance in your relationship is sometimes less painful than not taking distance in your relationship.

It only becomes a problem if you don’t distance yourself in your relationships and you feel bad about it. Nothing is worth feeling bad.

Sometimes people keep going because they find distancing too painful. Only then they find out later that the pain is usually temporary. While the pain of staying in a relationship that isn’t working lasts much longer. Namely, as long as the relationship itself.

It is logical that distancing yourself in a relationship (temporarily) does not feel good.

When you distance yourself in a relationship, it makes sense that you don’t feel well. A breakup or a relationship fight are always painful. It can sometimes take a long time before you are back to normal. It helps, of course, if you focus your attention on the relationships in your life that make you happy. What you focus on always determines how you feel.

On the other hand, if you keep going in a relationship that doesn’t give you joy anymore, you will slowly be drained. Such a relationship usually gives you negative energy and that is at the expense of your happiness in life.

Distancing yourself in your relationships – or distancing yourself from your relationships – is the best choice.

The world is full of nice people.

Hey, the world is full of fun people! Why waste your time with someone who doesn’t make you feel good. You’re not going to listen to music that gives you a headache, are you?

Positive relationships that inspire you are important for a happy life. You are worth it to surround yourself with people that make you happy!

To improve your relationships you only need one thing: more insight. With more insight into your relationships, you solve problems, improve communication – and get more energy from the right people in your life.

Felix Tammi

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