5 Classic Communication Mistakes We Make in Relationships

At first, it seems like it goes without saying, but sooner or later you notice that talking clearly and lovingly sometimes takes work. Simply because you are two different people who are structured differently. Which communication traps would you rather avoid when it comes to love?

1 Make blame

If things are not going well, it is tempting to think in black and white terms such as ‘guilty and innocent’ and ‘right and wrong’. Try not to turn a conversation or conflict into a competition – that will block finding a solution. Of course, it is helpful to express how you feel (hurt/passed over / offended) but don’t dwell on accusations. Try to look at the issue from both sides and look beyond the same: which solution are you both satisfied with?

2 Pass your way

Some people are quick to say ‘great sweet, you choose’, for others, it is very important that something happens as they envision it. Do you have a strong will? Practice compromising water. Occasionally seek the compromise and other times give your partner free choice. Then you really like it cozier.

3 talking about ‘everything’ and ‘always’

See also (1), but this also increases your blame. You make them very definitive: by saying that someone always does something, you imply that they cannot do otherwise (and that he or she has gone miles beyond your limits). Do not keep reverting to previous situations, as this stands in the way of change and growth. And find out where your pain comes from. Does it really only have to do with what your partner does? Or does he or she pressed a button that has been around since childhood, for example – because one of your parents was also easily distracted or showed little interest in you? If you can give that a place, space will be created in your relationship.

4 Disinterests

After a while, a relationship is not new and exciting anymore. You know each other inside out, you have developed habits together that you like, but it no longer sparks like that. You can plan the evenings and weekends. Break that routine and keep surprising each other. Stop watching series for a while, but play games, have a good conversation, or go on a course together. Schedule dates and put on something beautiful. Tell each other what you like about each other.

5 Stick together

Oxygen is also needed in the most beautiful relationships. You should occasionally feel that you are two different people, with different characters and experiences. It is precisely then that the attraction remains and you maintain your independence. The latter may sound cold, but it is precisely two independent people who can build – and hold on – something very beautiful together.

Felix Tammi

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